Monday, May 14, 2012


We would truly appreciate someone - stepping up to the podium and stating out loud something close to the following. And please forward to whomever's not addressed, as I don't have time to dig up everyone's emails. Thank you kindly. Roni Bell Sylvester _________________________________________________________ Ladies and Gentlemen of the General Assembly, we are gathered here today under orders of the President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama, to re-write God’s Bible. President Obama strongly believes God had no right to give birth to the word and definition of Marriage, and has therefore ordered us to re-write it to his satisfaction. Realizing it took many individuals and 1,500 years to write God’s words in his book called the Bible, we are faced with a daunting task. I can assure you all of us, including President Obama, will never know the outcome, for none of us will live that many years. First thing we’ll need to address, is the fiscal note. At $23,000 a day (if we’re allowed weekends off), just one year’s rewrite alone, will cost Coloradoans approximately $6 million dollars. It’s likely the churches and ecumenical counsels will want to weigh in, so it will definitely cost more and take longer than the earlier projected 1,500 years. In studying Obama’s orders, I became befuddled. For I found that God – and I repeat… through many people and over 1,500 years - gave birth to the word Marriage and defined it as an action between a man and a woman. And he expects us to change that in a couple days? In stark, brutal contrast, I learned of a solitary man named Mohammed, who – in his book the Quran, calls for the death of – I guess any who are not heterosexual – certain females – or any who do not meet with his personal whims. I’m further conflicted, for not one person has explained one good reason what-so-ever why, this religious matter has been plopped into government? Doesn’t this place us teetering precariously on the crevice of mixing church and state? So, instead of taking the risk of mixing politics and religions while pilling on even more debt on Coloradoans, I offer to you your consideration of taking this plead to President Obama: Dear President Obama, While we would like to fulfill your demand to re-write God’s Bible, we respectfully request your understanding in the fact that we are but mere humans who know – without doubt – that this is an unattainable task. We pray you’ll understand we’re not shirking duty. We are instead facing the realities of the enormous economic debt, and unattainable time frames your requested re-write will have on all Colorado citizens equally. So may we please suggest instead, that you allow us to re-write Mohammed’s Quran, instead of God’s Bible? This should only take us one day, as all that it would necessitate is the removal of all references of killing. Thank you, The Colorado General Assembly ________________________________________________ So without further ado, I pray God be with us as we attempt to either comply with the President’s orders, or convince him the alternative of omitting Mohammed’s death orders is a better way to go. Thank you, Representative - or Senator _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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