WANTED! DAVID MAMET!

Wanted! David Mamet! 
Would love for a playwright - the caliber of David Mamet - to write a short play.
I humbly submit that the main character should be an elderly lady whose life is patterned after mine. 
Why's that?
I've bookended my city life as a farm girl. And therefore understand both. 
There's a huge difference between income farming and hobby farming. Income farming does not wait for the runny nose, protesting, weather, feelings or politics.
You "get the work done first," and always, before you play! This ritual is non-negotiable!
Hobby farming is cute, experimental, and one's income is not dependent on the outcome.
Fresh off the farm, the first thing that hit me in the city was the blinding light that bounced off my naivety. Which I still have a lot of today.
The second thing I noticed was the disconnect between the city folk and the country folk.
But at the least, I still heard stories, "Oh yes. I remember spending summers at grandma and grandpa's helping with the haying."
Today, I hear, "Shut up! I'm not interested in your hay!"
Other characters in the play would a pot bellied redneck, veteran who rides a Harley, and city dwellers including a middle aged male actor who hates farmers, a tattooed young female who loves abortions, a bitchy middle aged female politician, and a young male who claims to be funny and gender fluid but is neither.
Like Steve Allen's brilliant "Meeting of the Minds," these disparate characters would agree to meet.
Of course David Mamet would be my dream choice to write this. Why? I believe David is the only living playwright who's objective and clear-headed enough to flesh out each character with accuracy, and tell the story with honesty!
It is a story begging to be told, and a connection yearning to begin.
David?